during the winter season at the Spotted Pig we did a smoked Haddock Chowder with diced pancetta that added a great bold smokiness to a typically dodgy boring old soup. I decided I didnt want to suffer through gluey New England chowder again, something that I just got used to as I thought this was the best way it could be prepared. Ms April Bloomfield and her English roots quickly changed my opinion on this porridge matter and gets the credit for this savory treat thats more like a light, yet slightly buttery cream and less like a gluey mess. We also did housemade crackers to go with the chowder but its easier just to buy some good hollow crackers at the market along with your fish. Haddock is a nice option for a fish with its buttery flaky flesh but if u cant find it at your local fish market, most smoked fish will work. smoked sturgeon, bluefish, or brook trout also works just as well...
I made this over my layoff week in nyc in between mourning the loss of Charlie. Basically a savory fanatics comfort food, the chowder is always a nice warm and surprisingly light treat. I thought this would be the best time for some good north Atlantic goodness in between my crying sessions
Smoked Haddock Chowder
*a note on salt- the pancetta and smoked fish are def salt cured so you wont need much salt, if any*
Into a medium sized pot mix together 2 cups of 2% milk [or whole] and 2 cups heavy cream with 12 ounces of your haddock (bones and all) and turn the heat to medium. Once it starts to gently simmer, remove from the heat and let cool
meanwhile make your mirepoix [the French base of carrots, celery, and onions]. cut and set aside 1 cup each of medium diced onion and celery, and 1/2 cup carrots finely diced. in a separate bowl, also chop 1/2 cup very finely diced yukon gold potatoes and 1 cup of medium diced potatoes. Set all that aside
Now dice your pancetta. Get 5 ounces of a block of smoked or regular pancetta. Whole foods or specialty markets will carry this. Dice the pancetta into 1/4 inch cubes. Toss 1/2 cup olive oil into a med sided pot, bring the pot to medium high heat and just when the oil begins to shimmer, toss in the pancetta. I like 'Olave'-Olive Oil from Chile. Give it a few tosses around the olive oil and cook till lightly browned and begins to crisp. At this point throw the mirepoix in (save the potatoes) with a pinch of pepper and 1 tsp salt if needed. Stir and cook this over medium for 30 mins. add your potatoes to the ved and cook another 10 minutes. While this is simmering and getting all lovely, strain the milk & fish into a separate pot and reserve the milk. remove any excess bones, skin, and all the dark belly meat and toss back into the milk and then add the milk and fish to the veggies. Continue to cook about 10 minutes or until the potatoes are just able to pierce with a knife.
*Be careful not to overcook. You dont want mushy potatoes.
Just before serving, stir in 2 TBSP chopped parsley, 1 tsp ground chili, and 2 tsp lemon juice. Serve it with some torn up crusty baguette and pop open some Wells Banana Bread Bear and its all heaven from here mate!
Im good at distracting myself in times of crisis. Cooking is the usual vice and up until recently it worked pretty well for me. this past rainy Tues morning, [my first time back home since Nov] in nyc I walked into the American Medical Center and tried a final resort hoping that maybe these cardio specialists and neurologists had the answer I was searching for. They didnt have much of an answer and frankly its pointless to go into an explanation.... but Charlie was put to sleep:( I put my two hands under his heavy head. The nurse gave him the 1st shot to put him to sleep and in one quick second, before he knew itd be too late, Charlies eyes opened up HUGE in perfect clarity like he had to rush to tell me one insanely important last thing. He told me, much like any other time in his life when I was really listening, in one large message...
'ok I know this is happening. I know you have to put me down but its imperative that you know, dad, that I know you did everything in your power to help me and you gave me the BEST life. and I love you'. and then he braced for it
his head was still in my hands and I said goodbye to my best friend. I didnt want any distraction sitting on this polkadotted blanket on the floor of the room. All I wanted was to be fully there. present. And my castmate Lee came just in time. He told me to call him whenever and if theres was any time I needed a shoulder, right now would be that time. I had to give him and this moment its justice and take in every tough ass feeling there is. And there was a load
I cant look at his life in terms of numbers because its hard to add up. Charlie was almost 9 but you cant measure quality in numbers and Charlie didn't even seek it-he WAS quality. He absolutely avoided the rain and the mud, stepping like a proper lady in heels around every puddle. Instead of the expected from a large pet, Charlie wouldn't seek attention. He let it come to him and he'd eat when he was ready and he'd sit like a gentleman and wait and listen for his turn to take over the room when he was ready. Since we started flying every few weeks he's become a pro at making the buck head floor in the front of the plane look like a pleasure cruise. service dogs aren't aloud on seats technically. Or on laps. And although that small floor space is small indeed and HAS to be uncomfortable, he always waits in one position until we de-board. And we rarely leave the plane without a tap on my shoulder and some person saying in disbelief, pointing at him...
I cant believe my eyes! He didn't make a peep! [Lola] better than most people I'm afraid to say.'
a few summers ago at Idara's 'Happiness' cast party at Joanna Gleason's out in the country I brought Charlie to meet Joe, their dog, a German Shepherd mix. Idara Victor gets the credit for the POV, I'm just re-telling it caused I love the story. Joanna's husband Christopher [humperdink] introduced his dog Joe to Charlie. but from the beginning Charlie was on Joes nuts and wasnt stopping and Joe wasn't having it and fighting back to keep Charlie off. After a few hours Charlie's still at it, asserting his alpha-maleness on Joe, who clearly wasn't going to lose his machismo, even if Charlie WAS his elder and had balls...it was Joe's house after all. At one point I realize I'm in the middle of a perfect picture-all the men at the party are surrounding the dogs in a full on fighting match of yet again the disagreement over who was the alpha male here as it HAS to be one. Every last dude at the party sitting around in perfect understanding that male dogs dominate and a fight is always in order even if it makes it uncomfortable to witness. as it truly was but it didnt matter to these guys. Charlie and Joe. Just a UFC cagematch. fighting for their lives, occasionally scratching faces and a shot of blood. And Chris' answer to Joanna and all the women, now standing together in horror by the pool?
'They need to work it out babe... it's ok.' he says, like that would change her mind!
At this all the ladies at the party got up and collectively went inside, talking about going in to make a cake because they definitely weren't waiting around for the winner of the cockfight. No. Charlie never ruled but in his eye's he definitely did! And Joe took a beating but he never gave up his home. Later that day, Charlie walked out of the their yard and into the car home just bloody. Not gruesome but just bloody and tired. like a boxer after a rough but fair fight. And that's basically how Charlie the boxer did it. Whatever he did he committed himself to the end.
Oh, Charlie Brown. Chi Chi. Charlito. You're so cool. You're so so cool:) The world you walked passed everyday misses you dearly. And I'm crying...and making seared brook trout with roasted carrots and parsnips
Just as I was hitting this this peek over my geeky obsession with Cook's Illustrated Magazine, no sooner had I discovered it would show up again in the form of an old high school mate Sunjay who now lives in Boston. Sunjay and his new fiancee Kavita, a PHD student at Boston College, came to the show early last week and we had a chuckle at the bar afterward about the funny debate following Sunjays post on facebook-'excited to go see Nick Belton and friends at Hair' he writes. then 1 comment later Sunjays cousin Archana adds...
'I saw it here at the Kennedy Center. Did not like...I got the flower power and make love not war within 10 minutes...it went too long....the nude scenes scared me a bit:-)' Kavita then commented after seeing the show the night after something quite the opposite..At least from my opinion, basically saying without words that maybe she shouldv'e waited on her critique until we saw it too knock his boys show:)
And thats cool. I get it. Obviously not everyones a fan. Of course, with 'Hair' I'd seriously prefer if when people don't like the show, they dont like it because they have opposing political views and they walk out of the the theatre. at least then I know I did my job. It IS a 2 hour protest after all and any strong reaction is a good reaction in my opinion. I'd much prefer that instead of boredom with the same message and scary nudity. But that's me.
So Sunjay works for this company Groupon. I realized even him breaking down a simple business like this, my brain sorta understands the concept but has trouble breaking down the science. Heres how Groupon works. If enough people sign up for a particular deal on something then the deal becomes available for all...everyone gets the discount. For example, a $90 ticket to Hair could be purchased by the consumer for $45 and then Groupon and the retailer would split the other $45. We had beers across the Street and I told him I got big into cooking recently and started this blog. He lit up like he had an idea-a networking idea. And he did! He did some Groupon business with America's Test Kitchen's social media manager Steph Yiu and said he'd pass on my info to her and that maybe she'd give me a tour around the ATK digs. She emailed me the next day and we set the date. I met Steph at their their headquarters in Brookline Village, a short subway ride away..After meeting Steph, when I walk in and look around at this business savy, eco-friendly group of nerds, kinda like Jeff Smith from the Frugal Gourmet meets Alton Brown. Remember Frugal Gourmet on PBS?...the same type of people youd most likely expect working for Christopher Kimball, the editor and foodnerdie, who also plays a crazy electric guitar apparently. I was in culinary bliss when I reached the top of the stairs into the culinary library, the largest in the world. Exactly what you'd expect if your anything like me and geeking out over a culinary utopia like this. Also a lot smaller and less lavish than I'd expected.
the library
Chef Dan Souza working on salted potatoes
One of the chefs was working on a fondue taste test, a typical test here where they narrow a massive recipe search down to 5 recipes, test each one varying each version according to different tastes, textures, etc and then the chef gives the analysis after we're all through. Turns out the Joy of Cooking was my favorite. It had a nice thorough creamyness and subtle wine and nutmeg hints. On my way out I joined Steph for lunch at Cutty's across the street where one of the ATK grads set up shop. A classic cold cut sandwich joint that Steph swears serves up the best roast beef sarnie. So I got the roast beef and a hand squeezed limeade-perfectly pucker and sweet. and the sarnie-a healthy pile of shaved roast beef with a horseradishy 1000 Island, crispy shallots and cheddar on a grilled brioche bun. The flavor and textures were spot on although I wished the roast beef was hot and the shallots a little more crispy. It was a safe 'speckie' and not the best but definitely up there. Still the best roast beef I've had was after a day of hiking in Mount Shasta CA at the unassuming Billy Goats Tavern but thats another adventure I'm going to revisit.
the speckie at Cutty's
As I left Steph, who I could tell by now was curious about this 'rockstar' lifestyle I was living on the road, a wave of contentment swept over me and all I wanted to do was quite the show and work in the kitchen.
I don't have kids and maybe someday I will but this whole experience with Charlie and whatever seems to be wrong him is slowly turning me into a pessimist when it comes to having kids. Its something I never thought I'd say but the financial burden its caused me so far is enough to feed a small village in Darfur. So I've put my savings for this food truck operation in Portland idea on hold recently. The initial surgury in Michigan was something preventable and cheap. Its more about the $780 bill from the last few days of Charlie at Angell Veterinary in Boston. And whatevers to come of his blood test today and whatever happens next is up to good vibes and the docs word which hopefuly will be a clean bill of health and they'll say 'Charlie's all better. lets have a toast!'
His blood test and radiograph from wednesday revealed he did NOT have kidney or liver issues which is what we thought was giving him pain. He's been moving slowly, more disoriented, and walking with his lower spine arched and having a little urinary incontinence, sometimes dribbling without control which is why we thought it might be kidney or bladder related. BUT his test did reveal a high amount of calcium which comes in 2 forms-plasma, which is the normal type the body already produces or free floating calcium which could be a sign of cancer in the body. So now I'm waiting to hear the test results about the calcium. And trying not to plan out the rest of my life, kid free. Its hard not to keep thinking that. I'd hate myself for being selfish if I woke up one day @ 50 never knowing what it was like to have any offspring. I realized today how much more alive I've felt since the 1st vet visit this past week than I have since the tour started. I think that feeling comes from this fragile experience with Charlie...and the selfless love that comes out of it. And I realized thats what Id be depriving myself of the most from not having a kid actually.
