Portlandia

Tim picked me up from the airport in the famous Portland subaru hatchback.  We drove to Burgerville. Tim, my older brother and his wife Sandi and Lucy moved to Portland 2 yrs ago after Lucy was born. Part of Tims lovability-you warm up to him fast- would lay in the fact that the man not only loves doing it but is the perfect unpretentious guide for a town like Portland.  He's got that personable restaurant manager and occasional stoner kinda draw.  Before I arrived he'd been talking up this place 'Burgerville-think McDonald's except instead of regular paper packaging, all biodegradable paper from recycled materials.' mixed greens w/ local smoked salmon and Oregon Hazelnuts-they grow like mad out here. And no MickyD's soy/mealworm patty either. Instead the beef's all Oregon grown, veggie fed, antibiotic and hormone free. No egg Mcmuffin; instead, an open-face poached [cage free] egg with poblano pepper and hollandaise. Even an entire menu of veggie burgers. Their mission: 'Serve With Love'. Sure anybody could slap that motto on. We're so surrounded by clever food marketing today anyway where 'serve with love' could mean anything short of 'I'm lovin it', 'Youre way, Right away!

Tim: nowadays people are afraid to ask for it 'THEIR WAY'. maybe the grill boy'll spit in it, who knows WHAT their gonna do to your food'

And I agree. Pulling out of the drive-thru, taking my first bite into the double burger, It tasted like something better than expected. I tasted every ingredient separately. It didn't blow my mind like an 'In-and-Out' burger [monster style or no] but it was damn close and I realized for the first time I was eating what I wanted [and satisfied] but more important knowing the impact this small meal was doing for the Portland region was part of what made it good. As hokey as that sounds. The produce was from my backyard, not South America [No cheap labor and fuel costs].  I was eating for taste but also eating with my brain. Its no surprise that a place like Burgerville has sprouted up here. Portland is like the starter kit any city would die for. The only metropolitan city I know that encourages new and local talent and discourages big business. And no new traffic lanes either. The city is bent on focusing on biking and public transportation as opposed to driving so they make it difficult on purpose. Its also the microbrewery and microdistillary capital.  And COFFEE. Most folks would agree. Portland's taken the crown from Seattle as the emerging coffee town with spots like Stumptown and the new wave of trendy coffee spots around. As if it couldnt get better it's the strip-club capital. more strip-clubs per capita here that any other American city. And I think Churches [one of its few downfalls] but I could be wrong. From what Ive seen so far, if there was a utopian American city of the future, Portland to me would be that special place.

On the way home, Tim and I were both thinking Chili. But what kind? Cooks Illustrated's latest issue just came up with a pretty scientific recipe for the best chili. The Original Steer meat market was our first stop. I had the butcher cut me 3 lbs of good marble chuck eye roast. Then past Multonmah Falls for a quick round of disc golf. The waterfalls [there are a ton around here] are heavy this time of year as the rain builds so you get a pretty sick view...I needed snow boots and a good jacket so we went to Next Adventure and Oregon Mountain Community. simply put...just outdoor and sports paradise. And Tim mentioned '50 Plates', where he works so we stopped in for dinner with a few castmates on our 'snow day'. 'Hair cast stranded in NYC-show canceled  ' read the news report as we sat down for Chili...even though Kit, our company manager, asked that we not tweet or facebook any of this. Too late now:)

something about Christmastime

Car Radio: 'we're all as one tonight/ makes no difference if you're black or white/cause we can sing together in perfect harmony'
Mom: ' there's something about Christmastime'
Me: 'something about Christmastime'
Mom: I wish every day was Christmas Nick
Me: 'You said it Mom. Then all the children of the world would hold hands and sing together in perfect harmony.'
Mom: 'And every store would be closed' [and on 94 headed to Chicago today, desperately searching for one place to eat, they were indeed all closed. Does the world really shut down for one day?]

 After enough verses of Bryan Adams 80's cheese blaring over an already choppy Chicago FM radio, I had to put my foot down. Classical Pandora Christmas is one thing. I can listen to that. I like that actually. Its perfect background to the fire going, the post present frenzy, baking cookies, whatever. But when the pop and country music worlds both really decided to fully adopt Christmas music, anywhere from the 80's on, I think we all regretted it a little when it really set in. like after we invented the atom bomb and THEN saw what its effects.  It reminded me of what Milan Kundera describes at the start of 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being', the idea of eternal reccurence. of all things in existence recurring over and over for all eternity in a constant circle of hurt and pain and weight. And now we're stuck in it thanks to Hallmark or whatever jackass thought this would be a good idea. And I think its fair to use music as a representative of all things Holidays. Jews, Muslims, sorry guys. You're excluded here.

For the first time ever I spent Christmas without my California family and helped out my Michigan mom. Mom couldve come out to see the 2 new babies but decided it best to stay and watch after Grandma Pisegna at the Lakeland Community nursing home. Iris, my moms girlfriend, went to Chicago to be with HER family. I don't think Mom or I regretted not going to Cali one bit.  For whatever reason it was a nontaditional Christmas and we loved every second. We made a fire in the fire pit and it snowed and we dined on my slow cooked babyback ribs, cornbread pudding, and baked beans. We pulled off the blue painters tape lining the walls and made a mini blue painters tape Christmas tree. and mom said 'hang on' and ran to decorate it with the leftover Christmas lights. We looked around the freshly painted house, and then to our blue tape Christmas trophy, and then to eachother in complete satisfcation of a job well done. And thankful. We mustve have been the only people painting walls while the rest of the Christian world was dressing figgy pudding and buying and spending and listening to Bryan Adams.

slow cooked babyback ribs
the secret: low and slow in the oven. no grills. like the mantra, tough cuts of meat like this, cooked under low indirect heat for hours, loose their connective tissue easiest....and the result...that fall-off-the-bone sticky goodness we all crave. This is for 1 full rack. Heres how:

preheat oven to 200 F
find a good quality cajun dry rub. Otherwise If you want to throw the rub together yourself, toss the following spices together in a small bowl: 1 tsp each of smoked paprika, garlic powder, onion powder, cinnamon, cumin, dry mustard, chili powder, cayenne, 1 TBSP each of sea salt, & 3 TBSP  brown sugar. [as an extra step-you can skip this-I like to warm them up on a skillet on low heat for 5 minutes to wake up the spices]. wash and pat dry your rack. Now pour the dry mix entirely over the rack and rub it in squeezing it with both hands. Dont try and be neat about it. Take a 2 ft sheet of aluminum foil and lay the rib down backside up and make an envelope out if it, pinching and tucking in both ends. place on a baking sheet backside up, toss in the oven and cook for 6-7 hours at 200 F. pull it out. be careful as you open the packets and drain the fat. brush your favorite BBQ sauce over the ribs, plate it, and bobs your uncle!

Old school pork chops with sage, apples and crackling

Moms been working hard so tonight I made her supper. Roasted pork chops with sage and apples and crackling. The rest of the Beltons are having Christmas in LA and Oregon this year with the 3 new babies, Teigen and Ella and Nyah, and mom couldn't make it out so I'm keeping her company in Michigan...and using her for her hot tub. There's nothing like soaking in 110 degrees and snow falling on your head. One thing about the Belton's; we could be broke as a joke and still own a hot tub.

In between steaming and stripping the wallpaper and painting these walls for the first time since this house was built sometime in the 50's, some good old school wintery grub is just the thing to make up for the toxic fumes we've been breathing in the past 2 days. Like any household item we take for granted; soaps, dyes, softeners, etc., I really hope the wallpaper makers of today are taking into consideration the toxins coming from this shit. Its no joke and thanks to google the information is just a click away if your interested. Ps-Brett Favre I know you've had a great career but either this is the work of a really good publicist or we're too fuckin bored to have any other interest. Either way, if the Bears winning the tonight was really overshadowed by a dirty text msg or yet another claim that this is your last game and not about a stellar win by the Bears [and it was], I might have to slit my wrist.

Anyway back to the piggy! Easy peasy. A nice wintery surprise for your mate. It feeds 2. this is my spin on some classic pork pub grub. From your butcher or Whole foods, get 2 good-quality pork chops, a little under an inch thick, skin and fat on. heat the oven to 400. carefully trim the skin and fat from each chop and set aside. rub the chops with olive oil and press in about 3-4 sage leaves on each side. Season both sides well with pepper and sea salt [I use 'Maldon' salt which is dried on paper and crumbles brilliantly in your fingers over anything. you can find this at any Whole Foods or cooking store]. Heat a wide ovenproof skillet on med-high and add the strips of skin, skin-side-down, and place a heavy pot on top to keep them flat. Fry for just a couple minutes until crispy light brown. Push the strips to the side of the pan and with tongs, add your pork chops. Fry for 1 minute on each side and transfer the pan to the oven [again make sure its ovenproof and there's no plastic on the skillet]. cook for 10-15 minutes or until cooked through. Meanwhile, core 1 apple and cut it into 1/4 inch slices. heat a med sized skillet on med-high and toss in a tablespoon of butter and the apple slices. let them brown a few minutes on each side and add a few sprinkles of cinnamon and 2 tablespoons of brandy or whiskey. It'll soak up quick. Let it do its thing for a few more minutes and turn the heat off. Take out your chops. grab 2 plates lay down your chops and top with apples garnish with the cracking on top and tuck in!

Serve over mashed potatoes and watercress to garnish

The Grand Canyon

The epic Grand Canyon hike I imagined having...into the backcountry wilderness, Charlie running in to save the day from a hungry pack of coyotes, the old toothless prospector with the ZZ top beard still out panning for Gold, a lone hiker with half of a bloody arm running up asking for a band aid..didn't happen. Or it didnt happen the way I expected. We did spot a coyote though. On our 7am drive into the Yavapai trailhead I turned behind me only to see my cast mate Emily applying her blush and straightening her lashes. [Emily I'm not upset btw. I'm just trying to set the mood]. If this was any indication of how the morning would lay out, I knew then I could scratch any plans of Grizzly Adamsing it into the Canyon. And I was ok with that. We started out on the trail and almost instantaneous I hear 'we can only go down 3 miles because yelp says it takes twice as long coming back and we have to be back by the lodge by 2 in order to get packed and to Vegas by 5.' Just the stuff that would piss off any hiker. Text messaging, calling, adjusting the Lululemon pants, way outside of our world but still very much in our own safe bubble of the tour.

Bright Angel trail

view from the Avapai trailhead

Cassie Sheik and I

 Finally a mile or 2 down it ends up just being the 5 of us; Paris, Steele, Larkin, Ross, and myself. We decide to start heading back but before we do we got into this game. Whoever can hit the boulder we spotted to our north wins. No one is in sight until a few minutes go by we hear 'No throwing rocks'. I'm thinking we just got busted by a park ranger...a few seconds go by and again we hear 'You throw more rocks and I'll tell the park ranger'. well now i know its not the ranger. This middle aged Asian guy comes around the corner looking like an older poorer version of that Daniel Kim guy from Lost. 'who would we hit? There's no one around', I say. 'Fine' he says in a passive but angry voice, 'I'll just go tell park ranger.' At this point I could see him standing there trying to maintain composure, contemplating in his head for brief moment if he could take the 5 of us and then pissed knowing that, in numbers and youth alone, he definitely could not, but too proud to accept the fact. 'We wont throw the rocks. I'm glad you didnt get hit', Steele says 'now please continue'. This is the best part...the man yells at us 'And if you try to send your dog after me, I'll kill him and I'll kill YOU!' Ok what? who said anything about killing? After a glance around at each other in an awkward 'is this really happening moment' at Kim Jong who was now gripping his walking sticks parallel to the ground, we all set off back up the trail in his direction. As I pass him he's still holding his sticks parallel and I notice him gripping even harder. 'On you're left' I say with authority, passing him on the narrow trail glancing down deep into the canyon below. No doubt in that moment my life was fragile but I made it by and we made it back alive and gambling our hearts away 8 hours later.

Vegas, The Great Indoors

I finally experienced Vegas for all its perfecto plasticity. The glaring oddity, coming from New York City where everyone walks, is that there are almost no sidewalks. Cars drive on roads and pedestrians walk from air condition tubes to buildings, back to tubes, escalators, trams, and more AC. The Hair tribe, in our case, about 15 of us, from the minute we walked into THEhotel, the Mandalay's new swanky hotel, you can feel yourself fall victim to oxygenated coconut scented air that fills the place. Its amazing. THEhotel's just adding to what is already this perfectly set up paradise. And like LA, anyone who tries to come and start something new that doesn't fall along the lines of anything I just mentioned will fall away. Vegas reminds me of those futuristic biospheres on Mars they were trying to bulid, fully enclosed and self self sustaining. what ever happened with those anyway? Isn't it time we start thinking about options? Yesterday I came in way rusty to a Texas Hold em game and lost $200 in about 3 hours and then before we saw Cirque Du Soleil's 'Ka', which was great btw, we dined at 'Olives', Todd English's chain which falls perfectly in line with the Vegas model. Your cheery fat waiters, classic overpriced American French food-sort of. As long as you fit in your carpaccio's, your tar tar, your foi gras, your ravioli, anyone coming to the Bellagio probably wont think anything of their $35 semi dry local roast chicken. that's what I had. Most folks wouldn't even question it and go about there gambling.  The food was decent but still cooked under a corporate model and food in that vein [in my opinion] can only be mediocre.

Ka was brilliant. Somewhere into the show, I stopped watching acrobats and actors and started to see a video game unfold before me. very cool. literally. as if I took acid and at some point your watching something in a different dimention. It my first Cirque experience.  Their other shows 'Love' and 'O' were on Holiday breaks. But sitting there in awe at the technicalities alone I was content to say the least. It made me think a lot about the future of Broadway. Better yet the booming entertainment future of Las Vegas which will only grow to more spectacle as the demand for 3-D spectacle theatre rises. With its built in hydraulics and flying systems, Ka and Vegas in general really make Broadway look like an old man. even the newer houses. 20 shows are closing in New York before Feb and its taken Spider Man almost 2 years to mount.  Yet here I was watching a cast of 75, flying planes over the audience, vertical walls and free falling from the rafters. I asked a friend from Ka, Spencer, who worked as a clown in New York how long they loaded and took this show in. '3 months' he tells me. Again just like Vegas itself, a perfectly designed system.

Sedona AZ the Vortex

I couldn't leave Tempe without going to Sedona. I'd heard too much about it. Its only 2 hours north of Tempe; a stop-off from HWY 17 on the way to the Grand Canyon. I can say, having been to both, Sedona, way smaller in size, most definitely trumps the Canyon. No tourists, the perfect ratio of woods to desert and the vortex. I'll get to that in a sec. My cast mate Jen Sese and Charlie and I made a trip out to Sedona. With the help of a guide in town, this small, leathery, new age woman with 1 lazy eye, who worked at this coffee/gift shop in town, directed us toward the Brins Mesa trail...a not too strenuous walk through a red sand trail, Juniper and Pine trees, and the most KILLER views of Sedona. Almost like a scene straight out of the Lone Ranger except no cowboys or Indians..just us and the open trail and the most picturesque mesas and canyons and energy. By the end of the 2 hours I felt refreshed. Like what baptism to older reformed folks feels like maybe...or the point when you almost die and come back to life. I wouldnt know either except I had a few brushes with death but thats another story. Either way I'm sure this kind of feeling compares. Late in the hike, close to the time we were supposed to leave, out of nowhere Jen and I just start running. Fast. Because, even in my jean shorts and street shoes how could I pass up this kind of back-country trail run. We also ended up a little further down the trail than we thought and were definitely flirting with not making it back to the theatre in time. Come to find out from Josh, It wasn't either of these. we made it back on time-barely. without a snakebite, as the trail was definitely narrow and at any moment my open legs could've been the victim of a nasty snake bite. I told Josh Lamon we went to Sedona and he said 'oh the vortex! 'vortex?' I ask. 'You don't know? There's a reason why its the new age, spiritual capital of the west. Its a Vortex of energy where, scientifically, all points from space direct there energies toward the ground here and move upward like a small tornado off the ground. There's a reason why people come from all over the WORLD to get healed..cancer patients, mental disabilities. So it made sense why I felt this deep spiritual connection. It wasnt the fear of snakes, or the running or the heightened sense of having to be somewhere on time...nothing I think but the universe communing. Heaven.

Before the trip into town to pick up some grub for the trail, we'd heard rumors from my leathery cafe friend about this little sandwich spot called 'Sedona Memories' where all the locals go. Yes that's really what its called. But don't let the name fool you. No Hallmark cards here. This is straight up good deli grubbin and can rival NYC without a doubt. They make their own bread-5 different kinds and I ordered the tuna salad [with cashews inside] which stood about 5 inches tall.

Seattle

Tanesha, me, Larkin, and Laura

I have to confess. Seattle was spent indoors for the most part and for that reason I didn't get to explore nearly as much as I planned. Rain. every day. The day after we arrived though the sun came out and I got to sing the title song of 'Hair' with my tribe mate Larkin Bogan, the Sea Gals, and a flash mob of 150 people at the Seahawks/Chiefs game in front of 70,000 newly pissed off and cold fans. Because the Seahawks and the Chiefs were both 6-6, the game was pretty important. Whoever was to win was to be the new NFC west leader. And this late in the season, it was a crucial win. Seahawks had a few glimmers of hope. When I was in the end zone waiting to sing, I almost got crushed by one of those glimmers, Ben Obomanu, as he dove for a catch and missed it, nearly pummeling me and the guy with the big camera. But in the end, the Hawks got served and the rain continued.

That evening a few of us ventured to the Zig Zag Cafe behind Pikes Place Market, a hidden cocktail speakeasy that has garnered some national attention so we had to check it out. Now at first glance, the low lit ceiling and the bartender straight out of the Great Gatsby, with his hair slicked back and sleeves rolled up, the vibe was tempting and I wanted a good drink. How could i not? By its reputation and the looks of the buoyant bar-goers, when you order a drink from THIS guy, you get a DRINK. I mean where you taste each flavor individually. I ordered the Champs Elysees,  brandy with chartreuse, lemon, and bitters. It was thick. Syrupy and thick and my first instinct was to spit it out. But I couldnt judge this place on 1 drink alone so I meander around to the others and sample their cocktails. More syrupy drinks. They were fine with their drinks. Maybe they werent expecting perfection and so their drinks would do. Or maybe the bartender was filling in and just wasn't on point.

*For good local organic breakfast grub check out the Portage Bay Cafe. For the best local beer and fries, check out Elysian Brewery, both highly recommended by my cousin Mary.